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Matchy-Matchy
Celebrating Crumpet's birthday with donation matching
Em Bee
May 05, 2025
Hey, all!
Unfortunately I’m gonna have to make this quicker than I would have liked, but I promised myself we were gonna do something special for Crumpet’s birthday and we’re gonna fuckin’ do it.
She offer you foot
SO HERE’S THE GAT DANGED DEAL:
Below, I’m gonna do my thing. You know, the thing. The thing where I list a bunch of folks who need assistance in one way or another.
As per ushe, that’s where you come in. You reshare, you boost, you give if you can. And if you can, that’s where I come back in.
You provide me a receipt for the campaign or payment app you gave to/through. I give money to cats.
See, here’s the thing about Crumpet. Crumpet has saved my life. I mean, not literally, but I don’t know, maybe literally. Content warning for suicidal ideation: my desire to stay on this earth is, and has never really been, like, not strong. Please know before going any further that I am fine, and right now, despite/in spite of… all… this, like, just, all this, I’m actually doing better now than I have in a while, maybe because a sense of righteous indignation is one of the few things that really does go straight to my heart and make it pump. If I could ascribe every activity in my life to a concrete, “Well, I’ll fuckin’ show you,” I will tell you the fuck what -
…actually honestly I’d probably be in very much the same place I am right now because I have pretty profound ADHD and executive dysfunction (and RSD) are two of my biggest symptoms but that is not the point I’m trying to make here
The point I am trying to make here is this: more than once, I have tried to make an exit from the play before the final curtain. Crumpet, more than many, most, maybe all the people in my life, makes me want to stay here. And I don’t mean, “Oh what would the little baby do without me,” fuck no. The little baby is fucking John Wick. She killed a mouse and rendered it bloodless in the middle of the night without making a sound. She once reached through a two-inch gap in the only screenless window in my entire apartment, pulled a bird through the gap, and tried to eat it, head first.
Without me, Crumpet would be fine.
The face of a killer.
I do not know that I would be fine without Crumpet.
And I know I’m not alone in this. Animals, our animals, are sometimes the only things in our lives that feel good and right and worth having around. Sometimes they’re the only people we wanna talk to. Sometimes, they really are all we have.
So here's what we’re gonna do: send those mutual aid receipts to my Signal account (details below; and please send them only to my Signal, I really do not check my Insta DMs anything like regularly and I am really sorry about that but I would like to refer you back to the section about my absolutely debilitating executive dysfunction), and I will send a donation to Trash Cat Rescue and/or Ernesto’s Sanctuary.
It goes like this:
For every donation, every single one of any amount, I will send $1 to Trash Cat or Ernesto’s.
For every donation above $18, I will send $1 to Trash Cat and Ernesto’s.
For every donation above $36, I will send $3 to Trash Cat and Ernesto’s.
Wait but who the fuck are -
I’m getting to that!
And Trash Cat? Well, Trash Cat is where we adopted Crumpet from.
My god she was so small
You can see on the post there that that was in May of 2022, and in fact, it was just after Crumpet’s first birthday, which had been on May 2. I saw that face and knew we were meant to be together. We officially brought her home on June 13, and she has been with us for three years now. Well, nearly three years; that’s the last bit.
I’ll be matching donations from today through June 13, in honor of Crump, who is yelling at me to play with her, so I’m gonna wrap this up real quick and snuggle my girl before I have to get on a flight tomorrow morning (I’m gonna miss her so much).
I do have to let y’all know that I’ll have to cap the matching at around $100; I don’t want to put an exact number on it one, because $3 donations might not round easily to the nearest $10, and two, because I am about to leave for a big birthday trip for my partner and funds might be a little tight, but I might have some wiggle room. I’m hoping that too many donations to too many mutual aid funds will be the problem that I have with this little scheme, and rest assured I’ll let you know the results.
So, to recap:
From now through June 13, for every receipt I receive from mutual aid giving, I will donate at the tiered levels above. To my Signal, please send an image of the receipt, as well as whether you would like your donation to go to Trash Cat or Ernesto’s, if applicable.
My Signal is: paperclippe.37
I will be on vacation through May 14, so if you send me a receipt and don’t hear back from me right away, it’s because I am momentarily looking away from my phone, literally and metaphorically. But I will try to send a confirmation of receipt to everyone who reaches out to me, and I will update with final totals here.
And now, what we’re really here for: the funds. You’ve got plenty of reasons to give, and if you can’t give (and if you can give), please boost and share these posts. Put them on BlueSky if you’re not on Threads. Make sure someone besides you sees them. Let’s keep our community (and its pets) strong and secure.
Please note: you do not have to donate to one of these funds to get the match. Any mutual aid qualifies. Also, if you buy something from a wishlist, I’ll donate according to the cost of the item you selected. Alright. Here we go.
Crumpet says thank you. No Crumpet Corner today; I’m gonna go hold her close and then miss her until I’m home.
Solidarity, friends. Stand together.
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